Sorrow

Here's my game summary:



And with that out of the way, some thoughts about college football.

College football is like the ancient world, and I love them both for similar reasons. Everyone has their city-state. Each city-state has its peculiar rituals, cults, symbols. They go out to fight each other. Victory is more than just victory, and defeat more than just defeat. Everything that happens has a relation to the mythical figures and events of the distant past that also help construct your identity and the cohesion of the community. Every action has a context beyond the normal. It's the poetry that colors a prosaic world.

We treat college football the same way; at least, some of us do. Michigan fans use the hiring of Bo Schembechler as a template for Rich Rodriguez. He's a great coach because he's making them work hard like Bo did; he's a terrible coach because he isn't from Bo's coaching lineage. Charles Woodson became like a second Desmond Howard when he ran back the punt against Ohio State and then won the Heisman. You stand outside until the final whistle of a miserable game in the miserable cold, because if you're honest, it isn't about being entertained--it's about being part of something bigger than you. ("The team!" -- Bo.)

The colors, the songs, the places the former players and coaches--it all combines into a complex and vibrant tapestry of legend and tradition capable of evoking everything that is highest and lowest in humanity. (It's important for Michigan fans frustrated with this season and contemplating Coach Rod to remember the "lowest" and strive for the "highest.")

All this said, it's important to have a sense of perspective. The kingdom of God is so incredibly important compared to these earthly things. Unlike our sports teams, it will never pass away, and it has the power to change people's lives.

Still, in a society that seems determined to make life as mediocre and prosaic as possible, college football has a way of calling us out of our materialistic, individualistic slumber. And for that reason, this silly but violent game provides real value.

Anyway...there goes another year. The worst year in decades for U-M. Nothing left but to have patience, look to the future.

Oh, and root against all the teams we hate that are still in it.

BEAT OHIO STATE

Sorry I haven't been posting lately; this grad school thing takes a lot of your time, as it turns out. Next semester should be better...

But in the meanwhile...today. Today is The Game. The beleaguered Wolverines, who will miss a bowl game for the first time since 1974, travel to Columbus to look for redemption against their arch-rivals, the Ohio State Buckeyes, who are playing for yet another Big Ten championship. Michigan's starting QB is Nick Sheridan, a former walk-on without size or arm strength. Ohio State's starter is Terrelle Pryor, 6'6", 235 lbs, with a sub-4.4 forty, who chose Ohio State over Michigan in the spring. Ohio State has won four straight and is likely to make it five today against first-year coach Rich Rodriguez.

Oh. And it's the biggest rivalry in American sports.

BEAT THE BUCKEYES

Darn.

Well, Western Michigan (!) beat us in hockey last night, 2-1, at Yost. I thought that was bad.

But nothing can compare to sitting through a game in which Michigan football solidifies its most losing season ever--8 losses, never happened before here in A-squared--in (by my estimation) negative-45 degree weather. At least it happened against a team that, even when they're likely to have an 8-win season, brings approximately ten fans--that includes the marching band--to its games. It'd be a lot worse if it happened against somehow-ubiquitous drunken, meatheaded fans like Wisconsin's. The Northwestern fans always look grateful to win, even if it's against the fourth-best team in a given state.

Anyway, this brings us to our offical Hope for the Future section that I just made up.

1) Eerily similar to Rodriguez's first season at West Virginia, plus a much better incoming recruiting class.

2) Two potentially big-time dual-threat QB recruits coming in. Not sure how this will shape up--Forcier is a bigtime passer with apparently good speed, while Shavodrick is bigger and could be a better runner--but we will have Decent Options again.

3) The O-line is playing much better, and everyone comes back. Plus, the many freshmen that didn't see time this year will have a year under their belts, eliminating much chance of having true frosh on the 2-deep.

4) Our only true slot receiver is Odoms this year, but next year we'll have true freshman Jeremy Gallon and we'll have Terrence Robinson back, a 4.4 forty runner who was lost for the season with (I think) a knee injury.

The defense could be an issue, but I have confidence that Shafer will improve our defense even granted the personnel losses we'll have.

One Good Reason To Root Against State This Saturday...

(There is a semi-real post about the Ugly vs. the Good game--remember, the Evil is the last game every year. But first, abuse.)

Because we could see a grown man cry:



But seriously folks. I'm not saying Mark Dantonio has all the composure of a toddler before his nap. Still, in honor of Bob Wojnowski, I have decided to provide a transcript of this actual, fabricated conversation in the locker room following last year's game in East Lansing:

Dantonio: Well, men, you fought hard...and....*sobbing* OH G*D! My whole life's work! I can't believe you would do this to me!

Hoyer: --coach--

Dantonio: I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!

Ringer: Come on Coach, cheer up, there's always next year!

Dantonio: NO! I HATE YOU!

Ringer: Coach, come here. Aww, come on, come here. *hugging the coach* There you go. Now, my mom made us cookies. Would that make you feel better? *holds one out for Coach to see*

Dantonio: *considering* ...no. NO!

Ringer: Just have one, come on, they're goooood! *tries to push one toward Coach's mouth*

Dantonio: *shutting mouth tightly* MMMM! MMMMMM!!!


And so on. Here's a real, non-fabricated quote from little Marky about this year's game, thanks to MGoBlog: "No pun intended, but we were up by 10 with seven minutes to go. And you know what? It isn't over and it still is not over." The most believable part of this is that there was no pun intended. And actually, that game did end, and Michigan State lost. ("NO! I HATE YOU!") Do his own players even take him seriously?

Well, yes and no. In a stunning act of one-up-manship, the Spartan football team retaliated against 87th string RB Mike Milano's crooshing of Wolverine hockey defenseman Steve Kampfer by ganging up to put MSU sophomore icer A. J. Sturges in the hospital last Saturday night. This is the kind of maturity we've come to expect from Dantonio-coached teams; in the imagined words of Sarah Palin, that's just ruhl impressive, guys. So yeah, anyway, eight freshman footballers, 15-20 athletes in all, felony charges expected.

Commence semi-real post.

Well, gang, it's a tough year. We all knew it would be, but...geez. We didn't want to believe we could lose to Toledo. Didn't want to believe we might get blown away by Penn State, much less Illinois. But here we are, relatively lucky to be 2-5, with a very-okay starting QB whose elbow is dinged and no backups who could compete on any other D-I team. A player named "Zion" is getting relatively significant playing time.

Hope for the future: Players named Martavious (already with us), Shavodrick, Fitzgerald, DeQuinta. These names alone might guarantee multiple national championships.

But we find ourselves heading into the State game with, for once, little hope. Those degenerate bums are favored on our home turf. The offense is showing improvement, but only only only when Stephen Threet is out there. (Nick Sheridan is, as an MGoBlog diarist so aptly wrote, the Harbinger of Doom.) Minor managed to get a 100+ yard, 2 TD game against a great run D (I'm doubting we'll ever get to see Ringer do that) without a single fumble. The defense is being very gracious to passers and a little rough on power runners. So there are advantages heading into the game. There's one big bump...and it's on Threet's throwing elbow. Let's hope it goes away a little bit in time for our game against Li'l Brudder.

Other bump, though, come to think of it. Our O-line. It lacks a certain...good...ness....

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

THAT. WAS. AWESOME.

Michigan: Better than you since 1817.

This Man Should Not Win The Heisman

From right to left: Coach Sulky Face, Javon Ringer's grill, and Lowly Grad Assistant who is inexplicably all up in it.

I'm talkin' about the guy in the middle, above.

Your first clue: He goes to a university that defines itself entirely in relation to another school. Seriously. This urbandictionary page is a fascinating case study in the unparalleled wonder that is the Spartan Psyche.

But there are more. First of all, he's not even the best at his position. Knowshon Moreno has 250 fewer yards...on less than half the carries. He still has almost as many TDs as Ringer, despite not being his team's whole offense. Cal's Jahvid Best performed better than Ringer in direct play against MSU, and also has better stats for the whole year.

Even if he were the best RB, this is a terrible year for RBs. Comparatively, the QB situation is perverse. There are possibly 47 QBs who are more Heisman-worthy than Ringer in the Big Twelve alone. That is an exaggeration. But Curtis Painter, lamentably, might be the only Big Ten QB who could start almost anywhere in that conference. And I certainly think BYU's Max Hall, USC's Mark Sanchez, Oklahoma's Sam Bradford, and Florida's Tim Tebow should all be above JR. I haven't even mentioned the obvious winner at this point: Mizzou's Chase Daniel. Twenty straight completions? It doesn't matter against whom this is accomplished. The man is the football equivalent of a demigod.

Javon Ringer For Heisman = VERY NO. Seriously. No.

This Moment Brought To You By The Football Gods

Today is, as ESPN.com's Adam Rittenberg notes, the two-year anniversary of one of the best sports radio rants ever.  Ever.

September 23, 2006.  My Wolverines were on their way to an 11-0 start and had just sobered up the Irish (haha) to the tune of 47-21.  The Spartans had beaten Notre Dame in South Bend in 2005 in OT and classlessly planted its flag on their 50-yard-line.  A beleaguered Irish team entered East Lansing that day to face a resurgent Spartan team with a skilled senior QB and a deep backfield.

MSU dominated the first half, and then the hurricane hit.  I remember that night, how hard the rain came down.  I remember hearing the cheers from the stadium all the way up in North Campus, even in the middle of one of the biggest storms they had during my four years there.  You couldn't ask for a more faithful fan base, one that wanted it more that night.

And then, it happened again.  Again.  MSU choked it away, and in the most heartbreaking fashion I have ever personally witnessed.  I can't really describe the looks on the faces of the people on my floor afterward.  It wasn't that they couldn't believe it; far from that, they suspected it would happen all along.  And that must've been the worst part.  Not just to lose to a hated rival again after such a great start, again, but to see that your team is exactly the team they've always been, and not champions.  Still, not champions.  I'd never seen looks like that on fans' faces before, and I haven't again since then, not even when I was at the Appalachian State game.  Even I, a completely and utterly deathless enemy of Spartan football, felt sorry for them.  Not condescendingly--sympathetically.  It was truly awful.

But two years later, it's worth remembering for this awesome moment in sports radio history, brought to you by the Spartans' Mike Valenti.  Listen to the whole quarter-hour.  Seriously.  You don't even have to be a sports fan, necessarily.  It is, quite simply, unspeakably delightful.  As far as I'm concerned, if the Spartans could just perpetually cause this sort of thing to happen, I would be extremely happy with that.  Enjoy:

Bowl Chances

Posts like this are always a good opportunity to look foolish later on, but hey...a paid professional already did it today, so why not me?

I still think Michigan goes to a bowl game.  Here we go.

They have to win at least seven games, most likely, to do this, since all 7-5 teams have to be taken over all 6-6 teams (negating Michigan's inevitable ratings/attendance advantage over all the likely middle-of-the-pack Big Ten teams).  So out of the remaining nine games, we have to find six wins.

Michigan's offense still looked good against Notre Dame when it wasn't committing a freakish amount of turnovers--a phenomenon that is not likely to persist, at least not like that.  The defense still looked good, apart from a couple blown big plays.  Like Jamie Samuelsen, I think Michigan beats Notre Dame if they play again.  Moreover, I think Michigan's offensive is getting a lot better every week.  We've found our QB in Steven Threet and our RB in Sam McGuffie, and our other pint-sized freshman slot lightning bolt, Terrance Robinson, is expected back within the next few games after spending the first three sidelined.

I think I can chalk up Northwestern, Purdue, Toledo, and Minnesota as likely victories, so let's do that.  Gets us to five, with five games left to consider.  Despite AN Ohio State University's troubles, I think we can still mark our game at Ohio Stadium with a big L.  Same with Penn State, who, although they've only really played weaklings so far, looks very good, plays us at home, and has long-, LONG-awaited revenge on their minds.  So that leaves three games with two necessary wins:  Michigan State, Wisconsin, and Illinois.  All three games are at home.

Of the three, Wisconsin seems like the least likely victory.  We play them next--giving us less improvement time--and they seem to be the best of the three.  They have a veteran RB and a good, veteran line, as well as a great TE.  Our best chance is to put up a lot of points early and force their first-year QB to pass...but even with that, I still don't see it.  But nothing's impossible.

Michigan State boasts a fantastic RB, a mediocre line, and an even worse QB.  Their defense might be good, but we haven't really had a chance to see yet:  they gave up lots of points, lots of big runs, to Cal, another spread team with tiny quickish guys.  (Cal proceeded to thwomp another minor team, then get crushed by lowly Maryland of the quasi-mid-major ACC.)  They held Eastern Michigan to an expectedly low score.  They shut out FAU, which would have been impressive minus the monsoon.  If Michigan contains Ringer and gets to Hoyer, expect a Michigan victory, especially at home.  The offense will be a lot better by then, barring more O-line injuries.  *panickedly knocking on wood*

Illinois is still Illinois.  Same inconsistent, great-talent, poor-execution team.  Michigan's never yet struggled with Juice Williams, and I doubt that they start now.  And this year, there's no Mendenhall.  The Illini D has not played impressively, and that might spell trouble against a steadily improving Michigan offense at the Big House.  I outright predict a Michigan victory here.

Thus, I predict that our bowl chances may very well rest on our beating Michigan State, and I give us even chances from what I've seen so far.

Disiuncta

Grad school has been consuming much time I would normally spend on this blog, so I apologize for the extremely long delays between posts.  I cannot predict an uptick in blogging here, but I can post what I can when I can, anyway.  So here goes!

• Jay Nordlinger is, hands-down, my favorite political writer.  Unlike most who write about politics, Jay displays in his columns an irrepressible humanity, a love of beauty, and a rare sincerity.  He is, quite simply, terribly normal. His expression of conservatism is not a series of logical arguments that forth a political doctrine, but a window into the heart of a person who lives conservative values each day.  And really, isn't conservatism about life and values anyway, and not doctrine?  Read his stuff at http://www.nationalreview.com/, already!
• Michigan did manage to defeat Miami (Ohio), if underwhelmingly.  I keep hearing that Steven Threet was outperformed by Nick Sheridan.  Threet had his problems connecting with open receivers downfield--in the same sense that Varrus encountered some difficulties in the Teutoberg Forest (classics zing!) (Threet, give me back my touchdowns!  I need to stop.)--but that option isn't even there with Sheridan.  Not only that, but Threet seems to make better decisions than Sheridan, even out of the zone read play.  I think Threet will eventually find those receivers, and he's the starter.  At any rate, the real problems are in blocking:  the offensive line is riddled with injuries, and the wide receivers are struggling in their new role as downfield blockers.  These things will improve with reps, but it remains to be seen how effective the offense can conceivably be against major-conference teams.
• The defense is not a huge worry.
• John McCain is coming back in a big way.  The latest indication?  The Intrade Market Odds, which once had Arizona's senior senator down 20-30 points, now give him a 6-percent edge.  Is it any wonder that the media are melting down?
• Speaking of which:  Obama's skid is greatly satisfying, but not moreso than the media's Palin huffery.  Men are revealed most in the sudden, unguarded moments of great emotion, and their immediate and natural condescension gave Americans a look at what their true colors: all blue.  Happily, in more ways than one.

At The End Of The Game, They Still Have To Go Back To Utah

On the other hand, they won, so I guess they made the best of a bad situation.

So did Rich Rodriguez, but it wasn't enough.  The numbers don't necessarily reflect this, but...Nick Sheridan was much, much worse than Steven Threet.  Threet wasn't that great.  The O-line wasn't good.  The WRs aren't meant for this system.  The linebackers figured it out in the second half, too late to stop Utah from gaining a decisive advantage.

The good:

• My dad came down for the game; it was fun to hang out with him again.
• My dad managed to scalp a ticket for sixty bucks in the seventh row at the 50-yard-line.  Holy frick.
• Utah fans are pretty nice folks.
• Special teams are looking good.
• The second-half defense was the real defese, in my opinion.
• The inexperienced LBs learned fast, and the D, impressively, held Utah under 30 second-half total yards.
• Later on, Li'l Brother pulled another semi-"Sparty, No!" in losing to Cal.  So at least there was some satisfaction today.

The bad:

• The QBs are not good.  Sheridan's "hometown hero" campaign didn't last long.
• My dad and I switched seats--mine was in the student section--after half, and the M alum sitting next to me was SO WHINY.  I kinda wish I'd told him off.  On the other hand, he DID pay a lot of money for that seat for the whole year...but no.  No excuse.
• Greg Matthews got injured.
• All the positions that were question-marks came down on the "alarming" side.
• We need to win games that are close.  Yes, yes, this game wasn't ACTUALLY, REALLY close.  Not REALLY.  Not 25-23 close.  But still, when all you need is to get into FG position and you basically go backwards...

Optimism:  Reps, reps, reps.  Especially on the O-line, this is important.  We will improve.
Pessimism:  So how many games we win this year?  2?  3?

Nah, I think we win more than 2-3 games.  I think we do get better.  And I'm impressed with the D, despite their first-half awfulness, for holding a very good Utah team the way it did in the second half.  Our offense will not be Notre Dame 2007.

I do, however, revise my predictions down:  a bowl game would be an accomplishment for this team.  But if we aren't significantly better--smoother, at least--next year, something went very wrong.

OH, I forgot one in the "good" category:  The Illinois--Mizzou announcer said "It doesn't make sense to hold anything back now!"  We know, we know!  Yay.

Game Day

I'll write another post about the ridiculous and inevitable column about change at U-M with Rodriguez, but not now.  I'm tired from my last rant, and anyway today is, as Bob Ufer would say, the holy day of obligation for the religion that is Michigan football.  (Did I blaspheme enough there?  Maybe more later.)

We are running a cuhrazy system.  Our coach has a Southern-ish accent.  Michigan Stadium has two big chunks of steel on it.  We have someone on our team named "Martavious."  I am part of the student section.  Yes, lots of change at Michigan this year, and all of it very exciting.  "Martavious" can be re-arranged to spell "I'm a sour vat."  The guy who might be "the guy" at QB is a former walk-on from Saline.  Our offensive line currently consists of a returning mediocre starter, one of those beaded curtains, and a maize-and-blue painted rock that was pressed into service after injuries to Mark Huyge and Cory Zirbel, but who has reportedly "picked things up quickly" and may challenge for a starting spot.  Our linebackers are named Evans, Panter, and Ezeh.  These are among the frightening things about Michigan football as I sit here awaiting the opening kickoff.

But I guess there's only one way to find out...

GO BLUE

Lynn Henning Is Stuck In The 20th Century

It has been a LONG time since I posted, due to moving and adjusting to a new place.  (ANN ARBOR, WHOO!)  But here I am again, gentle readers, and writing about Michigan football.  Or rather, about bad journalism pertaining to Michigan football.

First, Lynn Henning, writing for the Detroit News.  He thinks Michigan and Michigan State will now both be perennial Top 25 football teams.  (I disagree, and not just because of my distaste for MSU athletics, but I'll get to that after I point out some of his horrifying logic.)  "Each school got it right, as 2007 proved with Mark Dantonio at Michigan State..."  Erm, no.  John L. Smith's first year at MSU was better than Dantonio's, and was more of an improvement from the previous year's team.  One can only hope that things turn out similarly.

"Miles, who is so much a clone of the late Schembechler that he even speaks in Bo's clipped sentences, would not have taken U-M football into the 21st century."  I cannot tell you how much I hate the phrase "into the 21st century" in football.  Teams will still run the I-form, the Wishbone, the Flexbone, the Power I, the Shotgun, the Pro Set, and Offset formations.  They will run the triple option, the wing-T, West Coast, the Run 'n' Shoot, the spread, and pro-style offenses.  Some will become preponderant, others will wait their turn; someone will invent new schemes, and everyone will incorporate some of its elements into their offenses.  The idea that Miles is stuck in the 20th century is ludicrous.  And in any case, I'll take that if it means national championships (Miles = very yes).  (That said, I like Rodriguez and I'm glad we hired him.  What I don't like is ridiculous statements.)

"Those near-miss losses were not coincidental. They were the product of a vastly strengthened Spartans team that was lacking, on one play or another, the experience or athleticism that might have tipped the game MSU's way."  Again, see John L. Smith's first year.  And Weis's first year.  And Willingham's first year.  And a lot of coaches' first years.  Moreover...OH, they just lacked experience or athleticism.  What else is there?  Intelligence?  If that was the Spartans' "strengthened" aspect, it wasn't apparent to me.

"They tabbed a head coach with presence, character and experience who knew Michigan State and, most important, its neglected recruiting potential."  "Neglected recruiting potential" seems kinda funny for a team that climbed as irrationally high as 16th in the rankings at one point during the tenure of the last coach, whose superior recruiting was also praised by journalists.  But....eh.  (Also, what "presence"?  The "presence" of a sullen 5-year-old after losing to Michigan last year?)  Now, I know MSU's 2009 recruiting class is, so far, ranked in the top ten, but I'll get to that later.

"'First base was a bowl game for us (a loss to Boston College at last year's Citrus Bowl).'"  Henning helpfully inserted this addendum into a quote from Dantonio.  The only problem is that they lost to Boston College last year in the Champs Sports Inc. Dot Com Classic Presented By Florida Citrus Sports...not the "Citrus Bowl," which has now existed for several years as the "Capital One Bowl" and was won, 41-35, by the University of Michigan over the University of Florida.  (Didn't he say something about coming into the 21st century?)

Finally...I guess it's true that the two could exist as Top 25 programs, but I don't think they will.  Recruiting plays an enormous role in college football.  Michigan is a national brand, State, for the most part, a local one.  Michigan is ramping up its out-of-state recruiting, particularly in Florida (receiving, now, several commitments from NFL feeder Pahokee, for example).  MSU is doing worse outside Michigan, but much better inside it--for now--largely because Michigan high schools run a system closer to Dantonio's than to Rodriguez's.  That will, and has already begun, to change as high schools adopt the spread option in order to produce recruits for U-M (see Detroit Cass Tech).  It is also a particularly good year for recruiting in the state.  Even as Michigan has neglected in-state recruits, they have received the recruits that fit its system well--notably speedy scat back Teric Jones.  I could be wrong, obviously, so I'm not saying this will definitely be the case, but...the available evidence suggests to me that things will go on in pretty much the same way they have in this state.  And...if so...GOOD.

I'd Like To Thank Myself. This Couldn't Have Happened Without Me.

Or my two hundred and ten bucks.

This is me, holding the culmination of my entire life's work.

Five glorious season tickets, obscuring the two other equally glorious tickets, the glorious season T-shirt voucher, and the glorious flecks of spittle on my mouth.  I have a glorious problem.

But For School, I Would Write A Post To Thee

Instead, I'll leave you with this tribute to Bo Schembechler I found on YouTube. It brought the same tears to my eyes that Bo's death did about a year and a half ago. Here at Michigan State, people don't understand what he meant to us. His death was like the end of an era; it was like the last hero of a forgotten age had passed. Everything about him was larger than life. After losing twenty or thirty players because of his hard workouts, he posted a sign that said, "Those Who Stay Will Be Champions," and he delivered in Year One. He beat the 1969 Buckeyes, probably one of the best college football teams of all time, 24-12, in a game that many, including my own father, have said made them shed tears of joy. He was a superhero with an archnemesis, his friend and mentor Woody Hayes, a legend in his own right. He made the Wolverines chant, "The Team! The Team! The Team!" before taking the field. And he wasn't just a coach; he was also like a father to so many on his team, even after they'd graduated. When they heard of his death, several players bought tickets back to Ann Arbor immediately, without pause. Former players from a period of more than twenty years came back to share their experiences with Bo, and grown men who had made our most violent sport their life came back to weep and laugh and remember one of their dearest friends. And in fitting legendary style, he died the day before one of the biggest Michigan -- Ohio State games in memory.

Rich Rodriguez is being compared to him because of the intensity of the workouts and Michigan football's recent struggles, but no one could ever be who Bo Schembechler was, and no one ever will be. I'm just glad that we had him while we did--that we, no one else, had been lucky enough to have him with us.

Boren Out, Cowbell Commander Knows Why

This is just an amazing formulation. Check it out. I agree. Wholeheartedly.

"Those Who Stay..."

Justin Boren, an outstanding young offensive lineman, has left the Wolverines.

Workouts = too hard.
Good = riddance.

"Those who stay will be champions."
--Glenn "Bo" Schembechler

Detroit News Sports 18475, Detroit Free Press Sports 0

Yesterday, Terrelle Pryor chose Ohio State over Michigan. Michigan fans were disappointed, but not TOO much; after all, he's just one recruit, and an attention-seeking one with a seeming propensity for getting into fights. And so, in the measured words of one bad sports writer, "the gap between Ohio State and Michigan is a little wider." The headline? "Jim Tressel 1, Rich Rodrigues 0."

Fortunately, there is also a good sports writer in Detroit: "To dub this latest entry in the rivalry "Ohio State coach Jim Tressel 1, Michigan coach Rodriguez 0," is foolish."

Why anyone besides State fans pays attention to the Freep's sports coverage is beyond me. Drew Sharp (the aforementioned bad writer) is guaranteed to replace meaningful and substantive analysis with unrelenting cynicism and downright bitterness. Mitch Albom, a sports writer for girls, is guaranteed to use the Mitch Albom Patented Repetitive Theme/Word that mostly makes me want to puke. It's horrifying.

The News, on the other hand, is fantastic. Bob Wojnowski, Angelique Chengelis (the aforementioned good writer), John Niyo, Eric Lacy, and even the token State writer, Dave Dye, are all better than anyone working for the Freep. Yesterday's columns provided an excellent example of that ownage.

Ohio State Guarantees Next National Championship, Four Years Of Probation

Sour grapes? That seems likely. But hey, what would four years of losing to Jim Tressel be without sour grapes? Less satisfying, probably. That cheater.

Anyway, Terrelle Pryor announced today that he would be pretending to attend classes at THE Ohio State University (actually, his exact words were, "The University of Ohio State," so I can only assume he'll be a part of tOSU's Jim Tressel School of Taking, Uhhh, Classes I Guess). He arrived at the press conference driving a Jaguar made of pure gold, largely ending speculation about where he was going in the fall.

You've got to love big-time college recruiting: TP just became the very devil himself throughout most of one of the most populous states in the Union and the favorite person of literally millions of fat slobs in another heavily populated state. Also, thousands of West Virginians will be celebrating Rich Rodriguez's first defeat by having a possum roast and getting really drunk; so, reportedly, will thousands of students at Michigan State University.

Pryor-itizing

Everybody's reporting that Terrelle Pryor will declare his choice of football program (I'm not going to dignify his press conference as an acceptance of a school admissions offer, Michigan fan though I am) at noon today. So, of course, I will be heading to lunch at around 12:05, although I have class ten minutes away at 12:40.

Bob Lichtenfels of Scout.com is on the Big Ten Network with some semi-interesting stuff: he thinks, as everyone does, that TP (that has to be his nickname if he's going to Ohio State, assuming he doesn't do something embarrassing between now and his first start) is headed to THE Cheating B****** University and become a Hairless Nut. But it's also being reported that Michigan is making a late push, including NFL folks telling Pryor that U-M is a better school for, well, going to the NFL.

But, that's not to get anyone's hopes up! Because we all know, if we've been reading our Drew Sharp, that no matter what happens, it's bad for Michigan, and, quote, "ha, ha, ha, some newspaper actually hired me." Plus: TP's probably headed down south.

Recruiting Round-up by MGoBlog

Brian at MGoBlog has in-depth reports on each recruit this year, though not all of them are published quite yet. Here's what he does have:

Defensive Backs.

Offensive Linemen.

Wide Receivers.

Runningbacks/Quarterbacks.

Tight Ends.

These are thoroughly researched and include many highlight videos of various players, including offensive linemen. I don't think I've ever read a post on MGoBlog that was not interesting and hilarious, so if you're an M fan, visit!